Serrano Love: In Memory of my sweet Bobbi

It's been a sad couple of weeks...
We had to put my sweet cat Bobbi to sleep. She was too sick and suffering. I just couldn't do anything for her.

I went to California about 3 weeks ago and Bobbi was fine. But when I got back I noticed she had lost a ton of weight and wasn't eating. I was worried but thought I would wait and see if maybe she just had a little bug or something. Well, she wasn't eating at all or drinking and then I noticed her urine was brown. So I took her to the vet this past Tuesday, Matty's birthday, and the doctor said without a urine sample or blood work she wouldn't be able to tell me what was wrong. Blood work is WAY too expensive and we tried urine but she didn't have any in her bladder. (Maybe because she hadn't drank anything... duh)
The doctor gave her an injection that would help her if she had a UTI or it would do nothing if she had something else. But she needed urine to be sure. So she sent me home with a syringe and told me to try and get some when she went.
It took a couple days but I finally got some urine and it was still brown so I took it straight to the vet. I have been preparing myself for bad news for a couple weeks but no matter how hard you prepare you never truly are.
My mom happened to ask how much it would be to put her to sleep if there was no chance of helping her and it was surprisingly affordable. (This was a major concern for me, that I would need to put her down and wouldn't be able to afford to)
After we left we waited, and waited, and waited. ALL day long.

I finally got the call from the vet that Bobbi's urine showed she definitely had a UTI but unfortunately she also had really high amounts of bilirubin. This isn't normal for cats at all. Not even a small amount is normal and she apparently had a lot. The doctor said with the amount of bilirubin she was sure there was something wrong with Bobbi's liver. It could be anything from just an infection from her not eating to liver disease to liver cancer. There was no way to tell without blood work. AND even with blood work there is no guarantee that she is treatable or curable.

After speaking with the doctor and my mom and Berto we all came to the conclusion that it was time to let Bobbi go. We all knew she was suffering. She didn't eat, she barely drank, she couldn't always make it to the litter box, she couldn't jump on anything anymore, and when she got up she was so slow and it just looked like she was hurting.

As much as I know it was the right thing to do I find myself wondering if I did the right thing. She was my oldest baby. She would have been 8 years old on July 26. She has been with me through EVERY major event in my life.
Junior and Senior year of high school, prom, my first apartment, getting married, Matthew, Kourtney, moving to California and back.... EVERYTHING.
It hard to imagine my life without her. We've had other pets but she was MY first pet. So it's harder to let go. I know she's just a cat but she was SO important to me.

Call me crazy, I don't really care but I am having her cremated and I am keeping her ashes. She will always be with me.
I found an urn I really like. It's a cat sleeping in a basket and I'm having it engraved to say:
Bobbi
07/26/04-07/09/12
If love could have saved you, you would have lived forever.

The saying is so true. I loved my sweet Bobbi so much and if that was enough it would have saved her.